Lost Before Christmas

24th December! Christmas eve... We should be setting up a jolly happy mood for Christmas...
Instead I was woken up by a call from my father, I hoped it wasn't a bad news, but it was. He called to inform me my grandmother passed away last night. Deep in my heart I know this day was around the corner.

My grandma, or Ah Po as we all call her, was no longer with us to celebrate Christmas.
I haven't seen her for so long now. I only have faint memories of her since we don't meet very much as she lives 3 hour away. I'd only see her during the holidays when I have a chance to go back to my hometown, in seasons such as Chinese New Year, Christmas, and so on.

I wasn't very close to my Ah Po, but I do love her dearly. When we were kids we used to go back every year to stay for 3 weeks during the school end holidays of my primary and secondary school years.
She would wake up at 6am in the morning for her morning walk, make breakfast (usually bread and biscuits) and her signature black coffee while all the adults went to work. At night she would go to her qigong class at the basketball court.

Over the years her qigong classes were cancelled and her health was getting worse. I used to hang mosquito nets for her bed every night. She would sit by her old chair and ask me and my sis to convince my mum to get back together with my dad again. It happens every time...

I really disconnected with them these few years since form 6 was busy til university life I had less and less chance to go back. Ah Po on the other hand is beginning to lose her memory. There came a time she can't recognize me any longer.

The family back in my hometown decided to sell the old house and move to the house above the grocery store they run to tend to Ah Po's needs more conveniently. I remember my cousin told me my grandfather built the house when they were young. I used to stare at their wedding picture in her room and looked at their young faces. My grandfather died of leukimia when I was 3. Don't remember him much. But I remember kind and gentle Ah Po who never once raised her voice. There are just so much memories but they were all in my younger days... I guess I never had a real conversation with her since I grew up.

Ah Po, I will miss you. You are my longest living grandparent and I love you always.
Hope you are going to celebrate Christmas in His arms this year. Please look over us from above as how you always had when you were here.

People we love are going to leave us one by one eventually. Nothing will stay the same forever. Cherish them always.

Christmas is meant to be spent with the people you love, regardless of where you are and what you are doing. The heart that connects us is what matters most.

Merry Christmas people!